• ELIXHER
• On October 29, 2013

By Fatima McDonald as told to Kimberley McLeod | ELIXHER Magazine Fall/Winter 2013
Photo By Cherina L. Jones

I can still clearly remember the day my mom, Veronica, came out to me. I was four years old and she took me to one of my favorite diners in Philly. The pancakes were amazing! I could even tell you what I had for breakfast that morning.

My mom asked me if I knew what being gay was and, thanks to TV, I already did at such a young age. When she told me, I thought it was amazing, something special, like a superpower. I remember thinking, She has this incredible gift.

She went on to tell me that the person I had grown to know as “Aunt Penny” was her partner. The entire time, I had thought that my mom and Aunt Penny were just having sleepovers. Aunt Penny was around until I was in the third grade.

My mom made it a point to tell me and each of my siblings she was gay before we started school—before society could impart any negative views. When she took me to kindergarten, I told all my friends. My teacher took me aside and told me it was my mom’s secret to tell.

Fatima (center) with her two moms

I remember my first time coming into contact with someone who thought being gay was a bad thing. I was in first grade and I had a best friend named Dominique. We were sharing secrets and I told her that my mom and Aunt Penny were really girlfriend and girlfriend.

She said, “Oh my God, that’s so sad. This means your mom is going to hell.”

I was stunned and completely taken aback. “What do you mean?” I asked. “My mom’s amazing.”

Our family had been going to church but I had never heard that logic before. I got worried and began questioning if it was true. I told my mom what Dominique had said. She told me that in the Bible, Jesus says if you’re a good person, you’re going to heaven.

“Am I a bad person?” she asked me. “Does me being with Aunt Penny hurt Aunt Penny or anyone else?”

I thought about it for a minute and then said, “No, Aunt Penny seems very happy. It doesn’t sound like you’re going to hell at all.” I stopped being friends with Dominique because she had tried to hurt me.

My mom never told me not to tell anyone she was gay. In fact, she said it was up to me. If I didn’t want anyone to know, I didn’t have to tell anyone. She left it up to me to decide if I wanted to make it as much a part of my identity as it was of hers.

Things weren’t always so simple…

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