• ELIXHER
• On February 4, 2014

By L’lerrét Jazelle Ailith

Now didn’t Janet Mock give you all Beyoncé “behind-the-scenes” tease in her video snippets discussing her new book Redefining Realness that’s out today?!

via BuzzFeed

I was captivated by every moment in each video. She was real, honest, and unapologetic about her truth and her walk as a Black woman of trans* experience. One of the videos that intrigued me the most was the one surrounding the idea of “passing.”

“I am a woman,” she so powerfully stated. “I live my life as a woman and that’s how I should be perceived. I’m not passing as anything. I’m being – being myself.”

Hearing this forced me to re-examine my understanding of “passing” and why I so adamantly as a trans* woman long to fit this mold of I-already-am-what-I-say-I-am. Admittedly, at first I was not here for Janet’s interpretation of and aversion to the notion of “passing”:

“…the idea that to pass means that you’re passing as something that you’re not. Passing comes off as if you’re actively engaging in some kind of trickery or deception and so that’s where I get irritated with passing because anytime that I walk on the street, my gender is visible. I am a woman. People see me and take me as a woman and that is not passing. That’s me just being. But once I disclose that I am trans*, things change.”

I saw her as a woman with passing privilege trying to denounce it like that really would mean anything to me or others who cannot fully “pass” in the world. However, with her admittance of her own passing privilege in this ciscentered world, I became eager to learn more about her understanding and experience.

It became clear to me that Janet longs to eradicate the notion of “passing” altogether and deeply understands the divisions it causes in trans* spaces — how it increases the violence and oppression we face. She finds herself an unwilling representation of the “ideal” trans* aesthetic through a cisnormative lens and with this book as her platform, she’s challenging this trope.

It’s important for us as women to do away with this whole stratification based on cisnormative understandings of gender and how we “pass” for it not only adds strain to our transitions and pressure to hypersexualize our bodies. It only adds to us risking our health to be beautiful. And to what end? Becoming targets of violence and marginalization if we don’t fit the twofold beauty standard of being “beautiful for a trans* girl” as well as being deemed beautiful as women.

L’lerrét Jazelle Ailith

Growing into my own as a trans* woman, I didn’t have a role model to share her story with me and prepare me for the ride I’m taking. I grew up thinking I was simply a gay man for so long because that was the only explanation the world afforded me. I knew nothing of trans* identity and because of the lack of trans* visibility and community, my development had been stunted.

I appreciate the woman that I am now and who I’m growing into but I wish I weren’t 20 years old finding my way. If I had someone like Janet, I would have come to the realization of my true self many years ago. For that reason, this memoir chronicling her experiences is so important to help other young girls hopefully battle their inner transphobia and realize their truths. Redefining Realness has the potential to shed light on issues trans* women face as a result of the grip of gender normativity.

“Passing” is one of many topics that Redefining Realness expounds on. Janet is an authentic voice that tells a raw, unadulterated version of her story so that no girl feels illegitimate in her walk. I’m ready to shed my own inhibitions surrounding what it means to truly be a trans* woman and redefine my own truth.

L’lerrét Jazelle Ailith is a 20-year-old queer woman of trans* experience. She attends Xavier University of Louisiana and is majoring in Biology with a minor in Women’s Studies. Hailing from Baltimore, Maryland, L’lerrét has grown to appreciate the importance of fostering community and now dedicates herself to movements that eliminate barriers for marginalized people.