“You’re at your best when you want something,” Sara said quietly. “But once you have it, your life is meaningless again and you start to treat people as if they’re meaningless too.”

For a brief stint, I was in an open relationship. I quickly learned that it wasn’t for me. Lesbian erotica author Fiona Zedde’s latest novel, Broken in Soft Places, took me back to that time in college when the road to intimate self-discovery and identification can be clouded with naiveté and the desire for forbidden fruit.

Set in Atlanta, Broken in Soft Places tells the story of Sara Chambers, a woman who fell for the enigmatic, free-spirit that is Merille Thompson, and the consequences of Sara’s determination to keep Rille in her life no matter what. Sara and Merille meet in college, and Sara is immediately infatuated with the most popular and rebellious lesbian on campus. Merille relishes in the attention and the newness of Sara. Due to her growing need for Rille’s affection, Sara allows Rille to take total control of their tumultuous relationship, and she quickly learns that giving up control results in compromising her self-worth.

After years of separation, they reconnect, yet the past is not so easy to leave behind. When Rille brings a third lover, Stephen, into their rekindled relationship, it leads Sara on a journey to question her own value, the type of relationship that she wants, and whether or not she will ever get it from the woman she loves.

I was interested in reading this book because, since moving to Atlanta, I’ve been hearing a lot more about polyamory – specifically in queer relationships – and have met several people who are in polyamorous relationships. And though this particular relationship structure is not for me, I commend people who are able to love outside the box, in healthy, self-affirming ways. Open communication and honesty are vital to any relationship, but it takes a certain level of both to maintain a healthy bond in polyamorous situations.

But the poly relationship portrayed in Broken in Soft Places is anything but healthy. This novel explores what happens when poly relationships are entered into for the wrong reasons. Zedde’s novel is not just about polyamory, but what happens when people use relationships to escape their pain, instead of taking the time to heal. She portrays a consequence of what it looks like when people look for distractions – sometimes for years – to avoid confronting their pain. What happens when people look for others to save them, when low self-esteem is masked as love, and the lines are blurred between healthy compromise and emotional martyrdom?

Fiona is a detailed storyteller; she does a great job of engaging the reader’s senses. She mixes ordinary language with lush vocabulary; her descriptive voice setting vivid scenes that pull you onto the vibrant campus where Sara and Rille meet, into the quirky Little Five Points where Stephen sees Rille for the first time out of his bike shop window, and into the home the three of them share, where their most intimate moments and fears are revealed.

The dialogue is authentic and brings out the characters’ personalities in a way that instantly connects the reader. One could easily see reflections of themselves in Sara, Stephen or even Rille. I loved how Fiona brought in elements from her own background – the Chambers family is Jamaican, and this detail adds another dimension to Sara’s story as a young woman trying to find herself, and coming out as a lesbian.

Though the story also provides a look at the relationship from Stephen’s vantage, the novel is primarily about Sara and her journey with Rille, and later, the three of them as one unit. It would have been interesting to read this story from Rille’s perspective. There are hints – some subtle, some not – as to what has contributed to Rille’s identity and behavior, but without an in-depth look into her background it’s very easy to paint her as the villain.

Though there isn’t much erotica (which was a slight disappointment, considering my lustful expectations after reading her last novella, Nightshade), this is very much a “love story.” The intimate scenes are passionate, even in the midst of the physical and emotional pain. The tender, realistic portrayal of bisexuality is probably my favorite aspect of the story. It is not jarring or presented as an “other;” it is simply part of the queer world Fiona describes.

Broken in Soft Places is a great summer indulgence and wonderful book for starting and engaging in conversations about relationships and healing in our community.

- Nitra Wisdom

Nitra Wisdom is a freelance copy editor and proofreader who is working on her first collection of short stories and personal essays. The self-described queer introverted bibliophile received her B.A. in Pan African Studies from the University of Louisville and currently lives in Atlanta, GA where she blogs about love, literature, being a wounded healer and the Divinity of Femininity at wiseedits.wordpress.com.